Fear

Maya and D

Fear
Fear is losing your sister soon after her husband is diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Fear is caring for your sister’s husband as he is dying of cancer.
Fear is caring for your severely disabled nephew, wondering how he feels about the loss of his Mom and the imminent loss of his Dad.
Fear is caring for an angry and sad and confused intellectually disabled child who has lost his Mom and his Dad.
Fear is caring for this child knowing he will become your son.
Fear is crossing the street with this child as he sits down in traffic.
Fear is chasing after this child when he runs away in public.
Fear is worrying people will think you are doing something wrong by trying to catch this angry child as he runs away, because he is sad and scared because he’s lost his Mom and his Dad and can’t communicate and you are a new person in his life.
Fear is being a child who has lost his Mom and his Dad and having to move cross country with family who he doesn’t know.
Fear is not fully understanding what is happening around you.
Fear is not being able to communicate.

D

Love
Love is grieving for your sister and your best friend for as long as you need.
Love is not being afraid to continue to love your friends and family after you’ve lost someone dear.
Love is letting a disabled child into your heart.
Love is continuing to love and care for an angry child.
Love is adopting a child who can’t communicate.
Love is picking up a child who sits down in the middle of a cross walk in the face of oncoming traffic.
Love is chasing the child in public when he runs away.
Love is working against fear.
Love is trusting your family when you don’t know what is happening around you.
Love gives you hope and strength to keep reaching out to a child who is sad, angry and scared.

Happy D

Love is sending the child off to school each day to be loved by his teachers and classmates.
Love is the expression of joy you feel when your child begins to wave hi at 11 years old.
Love is hope that one day his communication abilities will continue to increase.
Love is acceptance that his communication abilities may never increase.
Love is accepting that your child may not ever engage in regular eye contact or say I love you.

i miss you, sister
Love is in a Mother’s heart whether her child is borne by her or borne by another.
Love is being grateful that your sister put this amazing child in your life.
Love is celebrating her memory and seeing a part of her each day in her child.
Love is a child who can’t speak or write, waving hi on Mother’s Day.

D waves Hi from Michelle on Vimeo.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women, men, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts and uncles who take a child in despite the fear and find love. Every day.

Seaworld2013

From my house to yours.

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About Michelle

Knitting Tin Hats since 2004.
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