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July 31, 2005
Thank You, Lu!
Lu has been raising money for cancer via Relay for Life. She is a generous knitter who donates her time and money for charity. On top of all this, she has given me a prize for donating to the cause! I am gobsmacked. And I'm also in love. I will be carrying this yarn around, staring at it's beautiful countenance instead of being productive. A reasonable sacrifice I think.
Thanks again, Lu!
Posted by Michelle at 09:05 AM | Comments (0)
July 28, 2005
My Twin
I have a twin that shops at the Joann's. She shops there so frequently all the sales clerks know her. Paradoxically, her name is also Michelle. The Saleslady mistook me for her when I visited recently with my Husband. Funny that.
Bean Cam
Knitting Content
I'm making incremental progress on my Harry Potter sweater. And I've pulled out Ene's Scarf again. I'm attempting to knock out a row or two each day. I'm still slogging away on the interminably long first chart, but I've made it past the halfway point. I can't wait til the rows are less than 300 stitches long.
I've finished the main part of my gingham apron, I'm hand stitching ribbon, and contemplating adding ruffles to the top sides.
Vegan Cookie Suggestions
Alternative Baking Company
If there's such a thing as fattening Vegan food you can rest assured I'll find it. I was one of the only plump Ovo-Lacto Vegetarians I've ever seen. I eat Chicken now, and I'm still pleasantly plump.
Posted by Michelle at 07:26 PM | Comments (0)
July 27, 2005
Meet My Arch Nemesis
It's the Atomic Force Microscope I'm purportedly using to collect my thesis data. To take my mind off of it's complete and total noncompliance to my nefarious needs I'm going to give my gentle readers, an overview of my Undergraduate Senior Project.
I used a 14" Celestron Telescope with a CCD camera slapped on the end to take images of stars and analyze them for their composition, and to identify which class of stars they were based on their spectra.
Let me briefly list the highlights.
1. It was dark, late, and freezing, literally.
2. The dome was completely mechanical, as opposed to employing those pesky new fangled 20th Century "electronics".
3. Which meant I had to use an Ten Foot Pole to crank open the slit. I wouldn't touch that dome again with a Ten Foot Pole. Make it two Ten Foot Poles!
4. And had to suspend my entire body weight from the heavy chain used to move the dome, to move the dome.
5. The dome needs to be moved multiple times during the night*. *Reference item Two on list.
6. When the Magellan (a digital readout of latitude/longitude) broke, I had to stand on a ladder and point the 'scope using a screw sticking out the side of it to line up with the Stellar Objects. While I was struggling to get hold of a telescope larger than myself, the Astrophysics Professor had the nerve to tell me "Little kids could learn to do it faster than I could."
6a. Then I turned green and grew muscles so big my clothes fell off, and I ripped the telescope off of the ground and crammed my Asshole Professor in it. Then I asked him if he wanted to be aligned mechanically or electronically.
6a. This is also the same Professor who once asked me why I didn't learn obscure and arcane logarithmic identities in the Fourth grade. It should be patently criminal for Nine year olds to know Pedantic Logarithms. I'm just sayin'.
7. When I was under the proverbial gun to collect the last of my data, I spent a never-ending four hour session searching for stars with the lens cap on the 'scope.
8. Professor reviewing class papers refused to proof my paper, offering only that I use "too many words."
I'd like to think he meant in the way Mozart used too many notes.
Posted by Michelle at 08:12 PM | Comments (0)
July 26, 2005
Ziggy Played Guitar
Congratulations NASA and Discovery Crew Members!
Thank you for your fearless determination.
'Song of Honour'
I stood and stared; the sky was lit,
The sky was stars all over it,
I stood, I knew not why,
Without a wish, without a will,
I stood upon that silent hill
And stared into the sky until
My eyes were blind with stars and still
I stared into the sky.
Ralph Hodgson, Poems
***
I made this pouch to hold all my stuff while jogging around my 'hood. I'm thinking of fashioning a fishing pole with a sandwich hanging from the hook and attaching it to the pouch as motivation.
I've sewn the main part of the apron twice, but I wasn't happy with the results. Seam ripping is much more satisfying than frogging. Why is that?
I did learn a cool new way to gather. Sew one stitch in the fabric-to-be-gathered, pull both threads longer than the length of the fabric, and zig zag stitch over the threads. After you're finished, pull the threads and witness neat gathers. I'll be sure to share the results assuming I don't sew my camera hand shut.
I've been experiencing some wrist pain so I haven't been doing a whole heckuvalot of knitting. But I couldn't resist starting this sweater. I'm using Harris Tweed Textiles Shetland 4 Ply from Elann, and an old Bernat Raglan pattern with alterations.
To make a suitable "M," I downloaded the Hogwarts font (easily accessible with google), setting the font as large as possible in Word, zoomed in 500% and printed it.
Next I taped my handmade excel spreadsheet graph paper over the M, and taped that to my sliding glass door so I could see to fill in the
appropriate blocks. Finally, I plotted the letter in excel and changed it slightly to make it a bit taller. I hope a 4"x 4" letter will look ok with the pattern. If anyone making the Weasley Sweater has any thoughts on what the height and width should be, drop me a comment.
This is my first design attempt. I've decided it's a big swatch rather than the scarf it was initially destined to be. I thought steeking would be a novel way to knit the scarf, but it's a giant waste of the contrast color. So I'm reworking it as a tube, which I'll sew flat when finished.
Ant Update
A big Thank You to everyone who left comments yesterday! We sprayed the perimeter of the house with Ortho Home Defense. So far, so good.
Posted by Michelle at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)
July 25, 2005
That Bloody Dingo Ant took my Baby Serenity
Well truthfully, a whole horde of malicious ants. And the unbearable heat contributed too. We spent the weekend trying to escape the heat and the ant pestilence by skulking around air controlled Bookstores, Home Improvement Mecca's, and Movie Theaters. Just to note: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is magnificent. It's a visual and audible candy repository of delight and amusement. A big Huzzah to Tim Burton, The Oh-so-talented (and looks good in dreads too) Mr. Depp, and
Danny Elfman.
So about the ants, they're everywhere. They typically invade in the late summer months. Our mornings consist of my fury-filled exclamations and proclamations of what I'm going to do to the ants. It usually involves household bleach and crazed mutterings.
Who knew the whole of Southern California was built upon a giant, interconnected ant-mountain? It's a well preserved secret, bent upon keeping the influx of Californian Transplants high. People figure the "ant problem" on top of the Traffic, Earthquakes, and Famous People would be the straw that breaks the camels back, or the Camel Nose in the tent as it were.
I was lucky enough to meet the Mayor of our humble hamlet, and upon introduction launched into "the ant problem." He was gracious and kind, and offered professional help...if we had a red ant problem. I briefly considered getting out some red paint and a tiny paintbrush. But deemed it impractical due to the sheer volume of paint I would need.
I've tried store-bought eradication methods, home remedies, chants, dancing, alarm-setting-offing, pleading, cajoling, and hysteria. The ants are unimpressed. The denouement occurs when they take to the (empty!) coffee maker. I am nothing without my coffee. So when I see a herd of malicious malcontented ants trawling for winter forage in my empty coffee reservoir the battle really heats up. Sadly the little buggers have taken and fortified the coffee territory. I sit here with the caffeine shakes, planning and plotting my coffee pot taking back strategy. Truth be told it involves a decoy coffee pot, one of those camouflage hats with the foliage on top, and a snootful of hard liquor.
Posted by Michelle at 08:50 AM | Comments (0)
July 21, 2005
The Tomato Liberation Has Begun
They don't need no stinking vines.
Free the Tomatoes. Up with Rainforests.
Posted by Michelle at 08:15 PM | Comments (0)
I'm turning into my Mother
It's hot and the heat has clearly rotted my tiny little brain. So, today I will provide evidence of how I am like my Mom.
1. I Recycle. She was recycling before recycling was recycling. You know those Ziplock bags? The disposable ones? In my house growing up there was always a Ziplock bag hanging upside down on the kitchen faucet drying.
My version of recycling features recyclables tucked into the paper bags from the grocery store and taken out to the bin a few times a week. The Husband tries to crush my recycling joy by telling me the dump truck puts the recycling in with the regular garbage. I ignore him.
2. I Iron. She taught me to iron, shine the silver, and sew on a button when I was knee high to a grasshopper. Now I iron sometimes before I sew (We won't speak of pre-washing, ok?). Have I mentioned I can't sew in a straight line to save my life? I was never a "color in the lines" type of gal so I suppose this is no great surprise.
2a. I make stuff. She made stuff before I was born and ruined her figure. But thankfully my dearly departed Gramma made sure I could crochet chains for miles and miles thereby being responsible for my current fiber addictions.
3. I'm sort of a Naturalist. A real Naturalist does more than grow 'maters and beans in containers and look at the Starlings in their yards. But hey, I live in the big city.
4. I try to eat healthy. I could include here how my Mom used to boil vegetables until they are sopping limp versions of their previous selves, and one time made me eat a droopy green bean sandwich on whole wheat bread, but I won't.
5. I'd shop in thrift stores if I could find one in a ten mile radius. I need a thrift store. It has like uh vintage stuffs in it, and I need more vintage stuffs like I need a hole in the head.
Regular blogging to resume when Temperatures return to normal. Happy Thursday!
Posted by Michelle at 09:17 AM | Comments (0)
July 20, 2005
Dear Refrigerator,
I know you'd prefer to be a Red Meat, Pizza, and Beer fridge rather than a Tofu, Fresh Veggies and Soy Milk type. And I also know you came from a long but meager line of working class Refrigerators. The ones that contain tons of corn syrup laden, triglyceride elevating, heart stopping ambrosia junk food. But please contain yourself. Stop expelling the offensive items from door via the "faulty" shelf. This sort of passive resistance will not be tolerated.
Don't make me duck tape your ass,
Her Fickleness
Three for the Price of One
I opted out of adding extra rows to the Flower Basket Shawl. Too many alluring Twist Front Top patterns and Harry Potter sweaters distracting me from the task at hand. I may or may not have sang the tune of "NeverEnding Story" with the words "NeverEnding Shawl" and Roberta may or may not have chimed in with OOO-ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo-ooo. But blessedly, it's done despite the warbling going on at Fickle Central. I think I'll wear it today.
I also finished the Spun Magazine Geisha socks with the lovely Regia Mini Ringel yarn. I'm still smitten. I'll be making more socks with both the yarn and the pattern.
My first pattern, Number 3232 of Kwik Sew.
I've cleverly hidden the waistband, which will be reworked. And also, about the superfluous pockets...They're in there, with the wrong type of interfacing (No I don't know why I used batting) and completely non functioning. I call it innovative. Like what the Tao Te Ching says- Empty pockets are full of nothing. Just like my wallet.
Posted by Michelle at 08:29 AM | Comments (0)
July 18, 2005
That's a Wrap!
Book Six is the best yet in my not so humble opinion. In honor of finishing The Half Blood Prince, I will be buying certain sale tweed at a certain online shop at certain special sale time for my very own Weasley Sweater. The Purist in me wants to do the traditional "H," but I also like "M" for Michelle.
Fickle Product Recommendations
Ambrosia of the Tofu Gods:
Don't be turned off by the Tofu. It's dairy free, and damn good. It tastes like honest to goodness Vanilla! And it's rich and creamy. And has 190 calories per half cup. Maybe I should be worried that it is creamy and soft right out of the freezer but I am too busy stuffing my face to notice this bizarre feature. The Husband had to rip it out of my hot little hands or I'd have consumed the whole pint. I'm eating some right now while he's a work. Heh.
Firefly
This gem of a series lasted sadly only one season. But I hear there's a movie coming out this September! Sci Fi is wisely rebroadcasting the series starting this Friday. Don't miss out!
Regia Mini Ringel Color Sock Yarn
I used Spun Mag's summer ankle sock with this yarn. I deviated about half way through 'cause if I'd have kept decreasing like the pattern suggested my foot wouldn't fit. But really what I'm recommending here is the yarn. This is my first ringel experience and I am smitten.
Posted by Michelle at 07:22 PM | Comments (0)
July 17, 2005
'Arry Potter
I am hesitant to start the latest installment of the Potter series because I know I won't come up for air until I'm completely finished.
That means no knitting! And Deity knows, I was deprived enough of my knitting yesterday. We visited the theme park that lives in Sunny Anaheim, California.
A place where sock knitting needles have been deemed dangerous. I tell you my friends, the only thing dangerous about those needles is me when someone tries to take them away.
I know she looks like a kind lady, but I assure you she is a Malevolent Dowager-in-Training.
Knitting Jail
It's not all bad. Perhaps a day in solitary confinement will prevent this sock from going down the dangerous road of excess as did the Best Foot Forward sock.
Scare 'em straight I always say.
We did have a terrific time at the theme park. There was not a single line longer than 40 minutes although the park was very crowded.
And I got to ride the teacups!
Dear Joan,
I have finished a sleeve on the much maligned March Christmas Sweater. I have one more to go.
Your Procrastinating Internet Friend Who Always Needs Cajoling,
Michelle
Posted by Michelle at 09:47 AM | Comments (0)
July 14, 2005
The Perils of Debauchery
Senor Sock has entered Rehab begun his long vacation at Saratoga Springs.
Abuse of kitchen herbs, loose acrylic yarn, and big needles led to his court mandated rehabilitation.
Posted by Michelle at 08:02 PM | Comments (0)
July 13, 2005
Being Fickle Knitter
I've found new Trash TV to replace the empty void left by such thought provoking shows as Dancing with the Stars and Hit Me Baby 1 More Time. It's a little show called Being Bobby Brown. The highlight of the latest episode has Mr. Brown himself talking menacingly to his shoe. The laces appear to be caught around his ankle, and he repeatedly asks "Shoe, Why you following me?" as he wanders around his hotel room with his shoe flapping in the wind.
I am happy to report Being Bobby Brown won't keep me awake at night as did the so called "Educational" programs as seen on PBS.
I have been knitting, I have photographic evidence!
Sleeve number one of two for the notorious March Christmas Sweater.
I've finished my Husbands Best Foot Forward socks. He wears a size 13. Now is a good time to mention that most retailers do not sell shoes larger than a size 12. Not that I'm complaining. Up with Rainforests.
The Socks have shown me nothing but attitude since they've come off the needles...
Shoe, Why you following me?
I'm Whitney Houston's Husband.
Posted by Michelle at 05:37 PM | Comments (0)
July 12, 2005
When Good TV Goes Bad
Now that the Trash TV is over for the summer and we've rented all the episodes of 24, I've had to go back to watching PBS*. Last night Nature showcased the Rainforest. I am all for the Rainforest. Up with Rainforests. But, not so much the Eye Juice Sucking Moths that live in the Rainforest. Isn't it bad enough that Moths (further known as M****) eat wool?
A Special about the Mount Saint Helen's Volcanic Eruption followed Nature. It was very informative, showing the horrifically catastrophic events that concluded with the eruption in 1980.
All this supposed Educational Television did was keep me up at night worrying about Eye-Juice-Sucking-Parasitic M****, and horrendous Volcanic Eruptions.
I can't wait for more Trash TV.
*To offset my ingratitude, I do have many positive things to say about PBS. Especially since the Government Funding will come to an end and they will need those donations now more than ever. Do you think they will accept hand sewn items in lieu of cash donations? Globe Trekker is the best all time PBS Show. Except for the episodes of Antique Roadshow when the Uppity People think their kitsch is worth a hundred million dollars and they find out live on tv it's worth 10 American Cents. Also, Are You Being Served is an exceptionally good Brit-com.
I Still Knit! I am not obsessed with sewing, I can quit anytime I want to.
I'm very close to finishing the Husbands Second Sock. I'll probably cast on for some new socks with the beautiful yarn Susie sent my way. My newest "dream" project is the Twist Front Top from the Adrienne Vittadini 2005 Spring Collection. Yarn for the project has yet to be determined.
I still Garden too.
Tomato Cam
Please avert your eyes from the Yellow Tomato Leaves. I will work on my overwatering thumb pronto.
Bean Cam
They are begging to be transplanted.
Posted by Michelle at 07:17 PM | Comments (0)
July 11, 2005
Psssssst
Stage Whisper:
There's a big fabric blow out sale at Joann's through the 23rd. I may or may not have bought a few things.
But I am happy to report I left the pleather in the sale bin, where it belongs.
In other news, Geiger was so incensed by the Happy Crab Fabric he started drooling. He knows a good fabric when he sees one.
...
I still knit, I promise. I also have this fancy idear of cutting up my old ratty t-shirts and making a rag rug. I obviously live on flights of fancy.
Posted by Michelle at 07:58 PM | Comments (0)
July 10, 2005
Random Blathering
It's a Man Apron, hereby known as a Mapron. You know why? 'Cause there are Roosters all over it. I'll leave the subtleties of that statement for your interpretation.
Something is right with the Universe. Not only did the extra yarn arrive in a very short time, it was the right color and the exact same dye lot. I won't be going to Vegas any time soon because clearly I've used up my allotment of serendipity for the month.
It's for knitting projects, I SWEAR! At least the sewing provides entertainment for other patrons in our local Fabric Shop. The most recent example of this occurred Saturday.
As we pass by the Pleather fabric bin:
The Husband: Boy this Pleather sure would make some great Speedos. Would you make me some Speedos?
Her Fickleness: I use my sewing only for the powers of good, not evil.
Happy Monday!
Posted by Michelle at 07:41 PM | Comments (0)
July 08, 2005
Friday is for Pictures
'Cause frankly, I just don't have much to say.
Tomato Cam
Snap Bean Cam
Illicit Friendship
Apron in Progress
Have a safe and happy weekend!
Posted by Michelle at 03:52 PM | Comments (0)
July 07, 2005
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
I am completely and utterly helpless without my Husband. But please, don't tell him. He thinks of me as the Woman who put herself entirely through college with Scholarships and working every job she could find. Someone who can clean up after themselves, take care of goldfish, dish out insults in mixed company and take a few herself. A Wife who kept her maiden name (Always fun at family functions). Bought her own car, can fumble her way around a machine shop, and is pretty able with electronics.
So I ask you, gentle readers, Why is it when the Husband travels for Business I am incapable of the most menial of tasks?
Evidence if Ineptitude of the past 24 hours:
A) I spilt half a bag of unpopped popcorn in the Kitchen.
B) I knocked over my bead organizer which held approximately 7,000,453,892 beads.
C) Somehow knocked a bottle of salad dressing onto the floor, which exploded.
So. Here I sit, covered in Balsamic Vinegar and Oil, with unpopped popcorn stuck to one foot, and beads stuck to the other.
I can't wait til he gets home.
Knitting Content
Did you know I have Anti-Orangutan arms? I followed the instructions explicitly on Ribs and Lace for the arms. It said "Knit pattern until sleeve reaches underarm." Somehow between then and now the space-time continuum has been altered such that the sleeves are about 4 inches too long, reaching well beyond my hands. I did, however finally get the sleeves seemed on. This was my first experience with knitting sleeves in the round. It didn't occur to me that I'd have to seem some of the sleeve together being that is was already in the round and all. But I've worked it out, and all that's left is to fix the sleeves and pick up stitches for the collar.
I've ordered more Kroy Hickory Sock Yarn for the blasted My Dearest Husband's sock. I've already cast on for the second sock hoping to get as much done as possible. This means either the sock yarn will be a totally different color, or it will never arrive in the mail. Or, due to the earlier disruption of the space-time continuum with my ill fated sleeves, the Second Sock yarn will arrive and everything will go smoothly.
I've started the March Christmas sweater's first sleeve in the round. It's going along quite well. And I'm learning the sewing machine (I know how to do Gathers now!) to aid in the seaming as I forgot to leave armholes in the body.
***
To those in London, my thoughts are with you. Stay strong.
Posted by Michelle at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)
July 06, 2005
Knitting is the Gateway Drug Craft
It starts out as a harmless enough craft. Maybe you fantasize about whipping out a few baby blankets, a few hats perhaps, at most some cleverly made mittens for those who live in colder climates. Then you start shopping at higher end yarn shops in search of the perfect yarn, the perfect project, the perfect buttons. It consumes virtually every waking moment, planning the "next big thing." And, even though you detest flying you find yourself on an airplane! Headed on your merry way to an actual by-god Knitting Convention. It seems there is no limit to the depths you'll go for your avocation.
You continue to patronize the high end shops, but occasionally venturing into local craft shops in search of possible yarn sources as the yarn at home simply is never enough.
Next thing you know you come home with a sewing machine. Now you live in a whole new world of possibility. One where you spend hours contemplating what you can make to aid your already all consuming knitting habit.
You scour websites and buy books, learning how to make purses, or zippered pouches which are perfect for your knitting accoutrements.
Then Your family starts checking your new hand crafted tote bag for remnants of illicit fabric or yarn Stash Enhancing eXperiences.
Sighing in absolute resignation to learn you've spent yet another $40 USD on more unnecessary serotonin enhancement.
Once your credit cards have been taken away by armed thugs, you turn to sewing up paper bags, and cutting up clothes in the Charity pile for your own nefarious purposes.
I, Michelle, am a Craftaholic.
Say, does anyone know anything about Quilting?
Posted by Michelle at 12:58 PM | Comments (0)
July 03, 2005
Crafts Talk Back
The following was written while the FickleKnittress was partaking of a stiff drink taking a nap. She claims no responsibility for the events that follow whether real or fictional.
Look at me! I'm so shiny and pretty and so very new. Who needs to seam up sweaters and finish socks when you could be poking yourself with stick pins?
Just because I'm the red headed step child of the knitting basket doesn't mean I shouldn't be seamed up! Me and my Pirate Sleeves are taking our toys and going home high-tailing it back to the corner.
I don't quite know what those curses meant. I mean, what is "A thousand lashes upon the Ewe that bore me" anyway? And "May the seven terriers of hell sit on the spool of your breast and bark in at your soul-case?" Do I even have a "Soul-case" and if so is it intimidated by barking?
It all seems perhaps a little extreme. All because of a sized 13 foot, cables, a discontinued color, and almost enough sock wool.
And What do you think she meant by "May every day of it be wet for ye?"
Posted by Michelle at 03:42 PM | Comments (0)
July 02, 2005
Come One, Come All! Step right up to See the World's Most Expensive Freakshow Pillowcase!!
Cost for one pillowcase: $164.35 USD
Hours worked: 5
Stick Pins used: 63
Thumbs Stuck with Stick Pins: 2
Curse Words Used: 75
Bobbins wound in an effort to get one done properly: 3
Important Lesson Learned: Pedal Pressure is directly proportional to sewing speed.
Posted by Michelle at 06:26 PM | Comments (0)
Live 8*Live 8*Live 8*Live 8*Live 8*
It's being televised right now! Don't miss Pink Floyd! If you are in the US, it's free to watch on MTV, or possibly your local ABC station. Don't miss this historic event to bring awareness and aid to Africa.
And We Have a Winner!
The Lovely and Talented Cassie came the closest with a guess of 97. If as the Husband, you are reading this entry Cassie was close, but clearly off by one Ninety-One.
; ) Congrats Cassie! You'll be adding two more balls to your collecting of Too Much Wool!
Runner Up goes to the Fab Christie! She was off by 16 106. She'll be adding two superstar skeins to her Superstarra collection!
Ladies, drop me an email (blossom_lover(at)hotmail(dot)com) with your address and I'll send the yarn your way!
I'm off to buy a sewing machine (cue angelic chorus)! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Posted by Michelle at 10:22 AM | Comments (0)