Fickleknitter

June 22, 2005

As the Heel Turns

The Official Fickle Tomato Cam

I'm fairly sure that since I spent $40 on a Sand-Pendulum to record Earthquakes, we will not experience them again for a while. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I had hoped to photograph the sand pendulum and post it here on the old blog for non Californian's to see.

Well since that didn't pan out, and I like the idea of blog cams I decided to showcase my tomato plant. I've had a lifelong love affair with tomatoes (pronounced tomat-ah). My Mom tells stories of me toddling out to the Cherry Tomato plant to for some ambrosia. I can give up meat, or I can give up dairy, but I don't think I could give up tomata's.

Ok, Ok! Who can ignore messages from above?

I am proud to say I ran at least a mile and did the entire stair case too! The problem was the 6 feet plus tall guys from the lab. I felt like a big idiot doing the old lady shuffle with them, so as a consequence I was running too fast. When I went for a jog with Roberta (who also digs the old lady shuffle) there were no problems, pains, or other embarrassments. Other than my face turning bright red. And them me singing Michael Jackson's

Because I'm Bad Red
I'm Bad Red
You know it.
Shcom on.

And doing my imitations of his dancing. It was a sight to behold I tell you. I can get divine confirmation if you don't believe me.

Posted by Michelle at 07:17 AM | Comments (0)

June 20, 2005

Born Under a Bad Seam

So. I would suggest that one not seam up sweaters when watching the Comedy Central line up. Apparently Laughter is very bad for sweaters on the verge.

That's my foot, contemplating kicking Rib 'N Lace's ass.

Also I must ask. Why am I abandoning socks right at the heel flap? It used to be my favorite part. Little heel flaps, I am sorry I have been neglecting you. Maybe I will get my knitting mojo back soon and we can get down to business.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness
Notice the astonishingly clean carpet? Dumb luck The fates smiled upon me. We had a fabulous, yet sadly duplicate wedding gift taking up space. So I suggested (as it would absorb nearly half the cost of the Dyson) that we exchange for the worlds coolest vacuum (Did I just utter that a cleaning implement was cool?). I also threw in cleaning the toilet myself to up the ante.

But really, I think it was the thought of topless vacuuming that did him in.

The Dyson Story
Husband: I thought you said you'd do topless vacuuming if we got the Dyson?
Me: I did. You left to go to work while I was vacuuming, Remember?

***Contemplative Silence***

Husband: You did not!

Ok Firstly this is a masculine looking machine. It is essentially a turbine on wheels. Dudes like that.

My Dude liked it so much he took the vacuum away from me and vacuumed an entire room.

We were thrilled yet disgusted with the gunk sucked up into the wonder vacuum. Secondly if you are a spinner of pet hair, this vacuum is for you. I swear on a stack of knitting books that it picked up at least 2 pounds of dog hair. The down side being the hair is covered in dirt. I ask you where in the hell did the dirt come from?

In other news, I went out for a grueling half mile run with some lab mates. They not only didn't laugh at my walking (running outside is HARD) but they agreed to go for runs regularly. The best part was when I challenged them to run up a long flight of stairs and petered out halfway through. Rock on!

Posted by Michelle at 07:08 AM | Comments (0)

June 18, 2005

Earthquake Tutelage

In honor of my Earthquake Newbie Hysteria I've created the following button.

If you are in California, have visited California, like the idea of California, or occasionally read about California you are welcome to save the button to your server and use it on your blog.

Here are a few of the things I've compiled to help put my mind at ease in the event of another Earthquake. Not pictured are my bicycle helmet and full body protection which consists of a giant rubbermaid bin filled with acrylic yarn with arm, leg, and head holes cut out.

Earthquake Sensing Equipment

Personal Audio Alert System

This audio system alerts the user under the following conditions:
1. When the window is open.
2. During an Earthquake.
There is no need for electricity or battery power. Also works as Pavlovian Training for husbands.

Ground Movement Authentication Device

The Authentication Device will verify Earthquake was not a figment of users imagination. Will report back on success/failure after device goes online later this week.

Dirt Reclamation Implement

This is not an Earthquake sensing device per se, but it does help with forgetting about the impending "Big One."

Recovery Apparatus

Recovery is a critical step in the Earthquake Experience. Sometimes two, even three treatments are necessary to experience full rejuvenation.

Posted by Michelle at 06:01 PM | Comments (2)

June 16, 2005

Earthquake Part Deux

Well this one was certainly more frightening than the first. I was relaxing in the family room and heard the sliding glass doors flex as they do when the wind hits them, and then I felt a much sharper jerking than before.

I ran to the living room area (Just like you're told not to do, I'm glad I didn't hit the pavement screaming like Chicken Little) to see the light fixture and look at the chimes. I saw the hanging wine glasses moving visibly but with a very short amplitude. I didn't see the light fixture moving, and the wind chimes made only a small tinkle. The Dog and Cat let me down again, no Lassie heroic manuvers!

Nothing fell off of the walls, but I sure did feel the Earth move!

Posted by Michelle at 02:12 PM | Comments (0)

June 15, 2005

Feel Good Knitting

There are different kinds of knitting. There's Innovative knitting, "That would be cool to have" Knitting, Gift Knitting, Grudge Knitting, Turn-your-brain-off-knitting, and what I need the most lately, Feel Good Knitting.

Here's what feels good on my needles:

Pattern: McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Spring-Summer 1973, "Rib and Lace Sweater"
Yarn: Lane Borgosesia 7 Settembre, color 90102
Needles: Addi Turbos US 5 for Stockinette and 1x1 ribbing, Denise US 6 for Lace

I am enthralled with this vintage sweater (minus the high maintenance doggy and fuzzy pink beret of course, I do have some sense of style). I've altered the pattern a bit. I changed the lower body to stockinette instead of 1x1 ribbing because I'd die of acute 1x1 ribbitis. Plus I sure would hate to run out of wool.

I added waist shaping based on Lyssa's suggestion, it was a great idea and I'm quite happy with the results. The sleeves look a little dated and I may have to play with them unless I want the dreaded poufy pirate sleeve. The sweater is flying off the needles, perhaps because I missed wool so much.

Pattern:
Knit Socks! "Best Foot Forward"
Yarn: Patons Kroy Socks in Hickory
Needles: Addi Turbos US 1 40" circs, magic loop method

I know it seems every pair of socks the Fab Ms Grumperina knits, I knit. Well ok, maybe this is only the second sock pattern I've knit that she has unless I can get my hands on some German Import Opal Handpainted yarn. But so far both patterns in Knit Socks! are damn good if I don't say so myself. Very clear and easy instructions, great textures and color use (as seen in "Classy Slip Ups").

I'm making the Best Foot Forward Bribery for Fancy Vacuuming Socks for my Husband. He picked out the pattern and yarn a while back and I figure in the name of a new vacuum new dress socks I'll give them a go. I have a 7.5 st/in gauge versus the suggested 9 st/in but since he has size 13 feet I think they'll fit just fine. I love these socks! I also really like the feel of Kroy Sock yarn. So soft and scrumptious.

Pattern: Interweave Knits, Fall 2004, "Flower Basket Shawl"
Yarn: Elann Peruvian Collection Baby Silk, Color 1477
Needles: Addi Turbos US 8, 40" circ

I caved and finally started the Flower Basket Shawl. I am delighted with the pattern, it is well written and surprisingly simple. This is my first non-lace weight lace project and it brings me joy to make lace faster than a snails pace. I love love love it. And I love the yarn! It is unbelievably soft. I expect I'll be making at least two more as gifts, 'cause there ain't no way I'm letting go of this one!

All other knitting has been placed in the Knittness Protection Program until there is no longer a credible threat to their lives.

Posted by Michelle at 09:57 AM | Comments (0)

June 13, 2005

I want I want I want

I know what you're thinking. That I'm allergic to cleaning implements and cleaning in general. That is unequivocally true may be true. However. I do hereby solemnly vow on my most sacred knitting books that if I acquire this cleaning device I will vacuum the floors such that visiting baby kitties can not find bits of trash here and there to play with while I pretend not to notice and then distract the bringer of the baby kitty so she will not notice that I keep a filthy house.

For $500 it better have a toilet cleaning, laundry doing, lawn mowing, and dishwashing attachment. I also intend to vacuum the cat, dog, and husband on a regular basis.

To further prove my need for the aforementioned cleaning contrivance contraption I've started knitting some essential coordinates. I'd offer earnest money but it is *ahem* tied up in other ventures.

In conclusion I offer up two final words for my Husband. Topless Vacuuming.

Posted by Michelle at 07:44 PM | Comments (0)

June 12, 2005

I love Wool.

I honestly love wool. I've knit with more than a few "other" fibers, but nothing strikes my fancy or slides over my hands as pleasantly as wool. I love it's spongy softness, it's versatility, and it's resilience. You can felt it, wash it, stretch it, shrink it, and stay warm or cool with it. Perhaps most important, it doesn't laugh at you when you knit up a sweater and forget the armholes.

I had the pleasure of spending a day with Lyssa when she was on her way to Arizona.

She really is a cool person. I don't know many people who would take in orphaned kittens that need constant love and attention and foster them until she finds the perfect homes for them. This isn't her only talent. She knits, and creatively at that. She also sews, and she alters and creates clothes in such a way that make me say "Damn I wish I'd thought of that!"

She also made these stitch markers in a mere 10 minutes after I showed her how. What I really want to know is, is there anything she doesn't do?

Roberta, Lyssa, and myself had a great Stitch and Bitch here at the house. They patiently sat through one of my all time favorite movies, The Wicker Man. They didn't point and laugh when I repeated a main characters (Rowan) name over and over. Except I (thought I) was saying it the UK way. RRRoan!! And I re-enacted how I'm going to go in my LYS and shout it from the rooftop. RRRoan!

They endured the movie and my silliness too. I am thankful to consider both friends!

To counterbalance today's sentimentality I present to you the best all time television quote

I'm gonna need a hacksaw
Jack Bauer, 24, Season 2, 8:oo am - 9:oo am

It don't get much better than that, folks.

Posted by Michelle at 08:34 PM | Comments (0)

A Testament to my Housecleaning Abilities

What could be more magical than a chance meeting between a Kitty and a Marshmallow? They spent many tens of minutes cavorting around the house, lunging to and fro, nearly losing each other only to find the joy of their company once again. Kitty says it was almost as much fun as a cat nip bender.

I won't embarrass myself by telling you how long it's been since we've had marshmallows in the pantry, or how many times I've swept or vacuumed since we last had marshmallows. But I digress.

It is with great sadness I inform you the marshmallow is no more. It met it's untimely death by unfortunate accident. The Cat has taken to his bed in mourning having learned a moment on the lips means forever on the hips.

Earthquake!
This regular blog is being interrupted to announce I've just felt my first Earthquake! I thought the dog was sitting beside the couch giving himself a good scratch, and thusly jostling the couch for a few seconds.

And then I heard the quiet tinkling my personal Earthquake Alert System. A while ago I hung a small set of wind chimes under the kitchen cabinets for just such an emergency. Despite the chiming of the alert system I implemented I remained calm. My ideas of pets behaving strangely and me running out into the street screaming have been dashed. Both the dog and the cat slept soundly through the whole event.

Whoops
In the spirit of natural disaster I share my latest knit related calamity. You know that Hubris stuff? Sometimes it really comes back to bite you in the ass needles. I thought I was so clever altering the March Christmas sweater pattern from flat to the round, and making up a fancy schmancy chart because all those words were giving me a headache. Now that I've knit the body up to the shoulders I ask you, what is missing in this picture?

Armholes. Looks like I'll be learning steeking before I'd planned.

Posted by Michelle at 08:37 AM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2005

Endangered Yarn

Dear Sirs and Madams,
Recently a new issue of some significance to the fiber arts community has been brought to my attention, Endangered Yarn. The plight of the Yarn is deeply moving and yet disturbing. My personal testimony with the threatened yarn is due to some recent unsettling experiences. For the benefit of the community I will relive these hair-raising tales.

Alpha Threat

No yarn is safe from the jaws of the predatory beast. Even those much maligned man made fibers. It starts with a snuffle, then a face buried in fiber. Concluding with unadulterated mayhem involving much shrieking and gnashing of teeth upon discovery. The frequency of these types of events elevate them to Alpha Yarncon 1.

Beta Threat

It is with great chagrin I bring the news of the Moth epidemic. I know not if this recently deceased moth (As noted by the circle in figure 2) was of the wool eating variety or not but it's disturbing nature is clear. Thankfully my Husband chivalrously aided the moth in it's eternal slumber with the fishes. As this threat has only occurred twice it is a code Orange, or Alpha Yarncon 2 threat level.

Dear Gentlepeople, I ask you to weigh the evidence detailed here in my epistle with great seriousness. I implore you to buy more yarn be it from your local yarn supplier or online shoppe to help prevent the tragic occurence of yarn endangerment.

Earnestly Yours,
Fickle Q Public

Posted by Michelle at 07:18 AM | Comments (0)

June 07, 2005

Mortifyingly Embarrassing

The only thing more embarrassing than being hunched over a school toilet (Oh the floor Ohhhhhhhhhhhh) getting ready to retch, is assuming the position and not throwing up. I'm thanking my lucky stars no one walked in on me. I didn't even have the decency to close the damn stall door.

I'm one of those ridiculously recalcitrant sick people. I go driving around, to the LYS (they did in fact have more of my Bene yarn and in the same dyelot), out to lunch, to school for my meeting all while barely having the capacity to hold my head upright. With a head full of marbles and an upset stomach that doesn't know which end it wants to purge. It all blissfully ended with me mumbling incoherent apologies to my advisor for the need to go home. She asked me why I didn't just call her. BECAUSE I AM A DUMBASS.

So I either have
1) A new wisdom tooth breaking through (Yes I am aware that 28 is a wee bit old, but I didn't get my 17 year molars until I was 21).
2) Had some form of dairy. I always knew I had some lactose intolerance, it wasn't until very recently that I connected show stopping heartburn and asthma to cheese.
3) the flu
4) The Stargate disease which forces me to lie in bed reading, drinking gatorade, or watching Stargate.
5) Cheese withdrawal
6) Hypochondria

Why it didn't occur to me to buy massive amounts of yarn today while I was delirious I will never know. DUH!

Posted by Michelle at 06:07 PM | Comments (0)

June 06, 2005

Cheese Induced Rant

Is it possible to have a cheese based chemical dependency? I think I'm allergic to dairy and I feel like I've lost my best friend. I miss you sweet, sweet cheese!

About the March Christmas Sweater. It is absorbing knitted rows without actually growing in length. I measured before the last repeat and had a length of 12". After the repeat also measured 12". If I stretch it, it goes to about 15". Should I assume the stretched length or the unstretched when starting shoulder shaping? What is a cheese deprived woman to do?

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my Thesis Advisor and our Collaborator. The Collaborator supplies me with the material I study. Please for the love of god let me be seen and not heard. I do not under any circumstances want to open my mouth and have my typical wise ass comments come out. I will vow to try to be seen and not heard because I'd like to have stuff to study.

One thing I like better about California Driving
Merging. Back East, pre-merging involves oaths about Mothers, Pigs, or Dogs. People who actually make a successful merge are often sworn at using Unholy Epithets concerning Goats.

California drivers observe the zipper method of merge. One car from each side. And you know it prevents grid lock and gets you to your destination faster?!

I believe in balance so I have to mention here something I don't like about driving in the Golden State. And that something would be left hand lane right turning. In other words, turning right on red (from the left lane) when there are 2 allocated right turn lanes. This typically only happens when I am moments away from turning right and a big honkin', gas guzzling, cell phone talking, Big Hairdo wearing SUV driving fool blocks my line of sight and prevents me from making my right hand turn.

While I'm at it let me address cell phone usage at the gym. Just say no. I need to work up one of those picture t-shirts with the "no" symbol, the universal circle with the slash? And inside the "no" symbol will be a picture of a chowder head on gym equipment yapping away on their cell phone. On the back of the shirt will be a picture of me jamming the phone in any available orifice of said offender. Just say NO to cell phone usage at the gym! And big honkin', right on red in the left lane turning, cell phone talking, SUV jerks too!

*No gym going, cell phone talking, SUV driving, right hand on red turning California-ites were harmed during the writing of this entry*

**If you are a gym going, cell phone talking, SUV driving, right hand on red turning California-ite this post has been written with a generous dose of sarcasm and is not meant to as a personal insult**

Posted by Michelle at 08:18 PM | Comments (0)

June 04, 2005

I'm coming out

I hate to clean the toilet. But after intense negotiations with my Husband, I've decided I'd rather clean the toilet than vacuum the floor.

I'm also coming out as a Physicist. I'm usually unwilling to spill the dish on my education due to the blank stares and accompanying drool (that's my contribution to the conversation). But in honor of joining the ScienceKnit ring I figured I'd share my vocation. Or what will be my vocation if when I graduate with my Masters in December.

Ms Enabler herself, Roberta aka owner of the super fantastic shoes called me up and suggested we make an impromptu visit to the Yarn Lady Tri-Annual Bag Sale. In my usual fashion I vowed not to buy anything and came home with 2 bags of wool. But they were such a great price and color I could hardly leave them there could I? It was fate. And I spent less then Roberta by ONE DOLLAR. HAH. I have one vintage pattern in mind for the Electric Boogaloo Blue wool, and am waiting for inspiration for the green superwash.

Curious what 2,376 stitches looks like? Wonder no more. Witness 6 rows of Ene's Scarf heretofore known as Bene.

I'm weak. And foolish. I cast on for Bene using Douceur et Soie although I have only one skein and am unsure if my LYS has 3 more available. Pray for me.

Happy Monday!

Posted by Michelle at 06:19 PM | Comments (0)

June 03, 2005

Moutains

Some people make Mountains out of Molehills or Mashed Potatoes.
I make Mountains out of Tissues. I'd buy stock in Puffs if I were you.

I am not the only Mountain maker in the household. My Husband is working on his Piece De Resistance, Mountains of Dead Trees. I expect bands of Marauders to make camp in our front yard any day now.

The dog is throwing in his efforts by dragging skeins of yarn bit by bit from one end of the house to the other in the middle of the night.

It's not all bad! I frogged the bad heel and the "what was I thinking" decreases on Pistachio. Both and been picked back up and knit on. Baby Kimono sweater is done save for the finishing. Lots of ends to weave in.

I'm going to try Anmiryam's suggestion, I mean, It's 5 o'clock somewhere right?

Cheers!

Posted by Michelle at 08:14 AM | Comments (0)

June 01, 2005

Proof that sick people have poor judgement.

I hate being a mouth breather. But Vicks works wonders for stuffed up noses. I don't bother putting it on my chest, I generously apply it directly to my nostrils. I've discovered another miracle curative, Potato chips. They work amazingly well against the ravages of summer colds, being as I can't taste because I can't smell. So it is therefore miraculous (cue angelic chorus) that I can taste potato chips. Ice cream cake also helps fight back the tide of cold induced maladay.

...

Fast Forward to 3 hours later. Chips and Ice cream do not bode well for sick persons. The previous commentary was in fact incorrect. Will infuse body with gatorade and Chicken Pho (we'll discuss the Vegetarian issues on another day) to counteract the bad juju acquired from eating Chips and Ice Cream when sick.

Further Proof of My Terrible Judgement
I bought a scanner. And in my altered state have been scanning in photographs. Since I have no shame I'll post the highlights here.

I still strike this pose today.

Mr Gordan Korman doing a book signing. The button I'm wearing says "Just say NO to Home Perms."

This is Christine and Me. She was the first knitter I was acquainted with. She made me the most fabulous wool sweater with cables, bobbles, and a hood. Sadly there came a point where I couldn't shove my boobs in there anymore.

I still have the same cowlick today.

Proof I started doing dumb things at a very young age.

On a long car ride to visit my sister I saw this roadside and insisted my parents stop the car so I could have my photograph taken. Whose idea was it to dress me like that?

This here is the Country Store. I wasn't lying about the armchairs. That's me circa 1985 sitting in the head honcho chair.

I was something else in college. That is unequivocally not a beer beside me.

This is the farm where I spent my formative years. Those are the Blue Ridge Mountains (which you may recognize from my wedding photos). I miss the Panorama, but not the small town 'tudes.

Not much knitting going on in these parts. I logged a few more rows on the baby Kimono, I expect to finish the right front and sleeve in the next few days. I'm contemplating adding pink ribbon edging but that might be too cute even for my tastes. I'm also plugging away on the March Christmas Sweater. My goal is to complete one repeat (24 rows) each week. I'm discovering it really is a labor of love to knit someone an entire sweater. But the recipient has knit in times past so I know she will truly appreciate it.

The preceding post was brought to you by a head more full of mucus than thoughts.

Posted by Michelle at 12:14 PM | Comments (0)